Last night’s date was via Sugardaddie.com.
The Place: Knightsbridge
The Drinks: Wine and some cocktails
The gentleman was tall, fit, muscular, looked exactly like his picture. Where did it all go wrong?
Probably about the time he asked if I had accepted Jesus Christ as my lord and saviour and began speaking about vibrational energy frequencies. At first it was only slightly alarming, as I thought “yeah honey, you just keep making those pretty words happen,” particularly as he had revealed himself to be a professional athlete, which was somewhat satisfying and the “don’t bother with the laundromat, help yourself to the washboard that is my abdomen” situation was making the drinks go down easy… But nothing else did.
After close to three hours of Gabbin’ with God, I decided I was revoking sex from the “on-offer” specials in my head – not that it mattered, though, because although he waxed poetic about my lips (and teeth) at the end of the night, he got really awkward and insisted he give me money for the taxi.
Was I nothing more to him than a Jesus-Beard?